Today my blog is based on a very famous book by Inyanla Vanzant - In the meantime... her view point and mine are very much the same... one needs self love in order to make any relationship work... so the key to healthy and functional relationships is always to love, fulfill and improve yourself first as then anyone who comes into your life can enrich it.
We all have needs, we want to be accepted, loved, taken care of, understood... but what we dont realize is if we dont practice self love first our needs can lead us into dark corners...when it comes to love matters many of us seem to always end up someplace we do not want to be...we as human beings have to start becoming aware of our patterns and how we function to get our needs met... if that is not done we cant change or attract anything different into our lives.
These are the 13 most common things we do for love, each and every one of these points will inevitably fail to meet our needs taking us down a hell road, lost and confused...less loved than before.
1. All the signs say this is not the one, but you ignore your intuition and move ahead into a love fantasy.
2. Because you fear being alone, or because you believe you cant have what you want in a relationship you accept the first person that comes along.
3. You confuse friendship and niceness with romantic love.
4. Because someone is nice to you, and you are not used to it, you don't know how to say no, when you realize they are not for you.
5. You get caught up in the packaging and promises.
6. You force your desires for a relationship on to another person and force and ultimatum, and because the person does want to hurt you goes along with you...for a while.
7. Because the other person expresses an interest in you, you respond without really exploring if this is who you are or what you want.
8. You allow blind faith lead to blind love, to take you into an unhealthy situation.
9. You choose to believe that what your partner has done to another person s/he will not do to you.
10. Sexual compatibility is mistaken for love
11. You stay in a relationship although you are miserable, trying to work things out although your partner is not interested, and does nothing about it.
12. You don't express what you really feel because you don't want to hurt your partner.
13. You choose to believe your partners lies even when you know the truth, you act like you don't know what is going on when you do.
All these points will keep you stuck and in a pattern of dissolution... make the changes within yourself... respect and love yourself...and most importantly communicate and be honest with yourself and the people around you.
More on this topic in my Radio show tomorrow...