I can not stress how important it is to know your own values as this is the core we all live by... when we clearly know what we live and stand for we understand ourselves just so much better...
I have found that many of us are in confusion as we don't seem to understand what we want, when we truly live our values no matter how hard it may be we are always in alignment with ourselves and our mission.
Values also very much tie in with boundaries, often we over step each other boundaries/value not intentionally but this can have major ripple effects on our relationships, so knowing your values and boundaries and expressing them clearly is the way to a happier life and healthier relationships... now not everyone accepts and understand boundary setting or values but this is how we grow.
A good example is always one of punctuality... if i have a value of punctuality and i like always being punctual on time and i expect that of my friends, if i encounter someone who does not have that value system it could lead to a problem. lets say i have a value of punctuality however my good friend does not and whenever we meet for coffee she is always late, one can imagine that after some time this over stepping of my boundary will affect me on some level, however in our society we rather let ourselves get so worked up and allow an explosion to happen than to talk about a problem before it arises... instead of getting angry and causing a fight in the friendship due to our different value systems the best way to go about setting a boundary and making known your value is in such a manner:
name the value, name the need and say thank you...so this is how i would say it:
Friend i love you very much and i enjoy our coffee however i have a very strong value of punctuality and i would really appreciative it if you are on time for our coffee, thank you for honoring and respecting this value.
This is a formal way but a good starting point to learn communication that clearly states the needs, the reason and the outcome, without conflict or drama... mostly we over step each others values and boundaries without knowing and open communication can solve many of our communication mishaps.
For the next two weeks you can download the list of values for yourself... out of the 300 odd values choose 10 primary values, and then out of those 10 choose 4 CORE values, these values are the main values you live by.
http://dl.dropbox.com/u/7412780/List%20of%20Values.docx
For more on these coaching tips contact me for personal coaching programs as well as courses coming up the next few months.
All this falls under my new course called CREATE YOUR LIFE
For more info:
info@otherworldstomorrow.com
www.otherworldstomorrow.com
+27825497924
