How our needs when it comes to love sometimes lead us down a hell road

Today my blog is based on a very famous book by Inyanla Vanzant - In the meantime... her view point and mine are very much the same... one needs self love in order to make any relationship work... so the key to healthy and functional relationships is always to love, fulfill and improve yourself first as then anyone who comes into your life can enrich it.

We all have needs, we want to be accepted, loved, taken care of, understood... but what we dont realize is if we dont practice self love first our needs can lead us into dark corners...when it comes to love matters many of us seem to always end up someplace we do not want to be...we as human beings have to start becoming aware of our patterns and how we function to get our needs met... if that is not done we cant change or attract anything different into our lives.

These are the 13 most common things we do for love, each and every one of these points will inevitably fail to meet our needs taking us down a hell road, lost and confused...less loved than before.

1. All the signs say this is not the one, but you ignore your intuition and move ahead into a love fantasy.

2. Because you fear being alone, or because you believe you cant have what you want in a relationship you accept the first person that comes along.

3. You confuse friendship and niceness with romantic love.

4. Because someone is nice to you, and you are not used to it, you don't know how to say no, when you realize they are not for you.

5. You get caught up in the packaging and promises.

6. You force your desires for a relationship on to another person and force and ultimatum, and because the person does want to hurt you goes along with you...for a while.

7. Because the other person expresses an interest in you, you respond without really exploring if this is who you are or what you want.

8. You allow blind faith lead to blind love, to take you into an unhealthy situation.

9. You choose to believe that what your partner has done to another person s/he will not do to you.

10. Sexual compatibility is mistaken for love

11. You stay in a relationship although you are miserable, trying to work things out although your partner is not interested, and does nothing about it.

12. You don't express what you really feel because you don't want to hurt your partner.

13. You choose to believe your partners lies even when you know the truth, you act like you don't know what is going on when you do.

All these points will keep you stuck and in a pattern of dissolution... make the changes within yourself... respect and love yourself...and most importantly communicate and be honest with yourself and the people around you.

More on this topic in my Radio show tomorrow...
www.otherworldstomorrow.com

Facing your fears

Any life challenges present you with an opportunity to face your fears and to grow... if you can stop blaming others, and take responsibility for your own life then you can easily stop a recurring problem...whenever there is fear then you know that needs to be addressed.

When you are ready to face your fears you have these opportunities ahead of you:

1. Every problem presents you with an opportunity to demonstrate who YOU want to be, and how you want to act and react...stop, look and listen.

2.Realize that every emotion and reaction either benefits you in a positive or negative way...these are called PAYOFFS... drama is a pay off, and so is staying stuck in a negative pattern or comfort zone, facing your fears and changing your payoffs can help you move forward.

3.Change and facing your fears allows you to look at unresolved emotions that need to be dealt with...
-give yourself permission to feel
-modify your feeling... stay away from addictions like eating
-listen to your body
-write your problems out of the body
-talk the problem out of the body
-Move on, stop talking about it and reliving it.
-say goodbye to what could have been
-forgiveness of self and others are the key to freedom

Working on yourself can be a rewarding and fulfilling journey, but work is required...you have nothing to fear, just face every situation and then life will flow easier. :-)

My show this week is on this topic to hear the show go to www.otherworldstomorrow.com

Facial Expressions

Do you know that the average human being has 7000 expressions... that's a lot... facial expressions are universally recognizable, that means without even saying a word you would be able to recognize sadness, happiness or anger from anyone in Asia, Europe, America or anywhere... this is amazing, but what it also says to me is that we need to be careful about how we portray these expressions, remembering that the world is our mirror...most of the time a facial expression happens in a millisecond, and an expression is directly linked to our emotions, so people can very easily read our emotions through our expressions, if this expression is a happy expression then its no problem, its when we portray an angry, or negative expression that we then attract that... the world and us as humans always filter back and forth what is fed to us, so we can influence each other by not even saying a word but just projecting it through our expression...this week see what you see in the people around you, do you see negative expressions everywhere or do you see positive expressions everywhere, and then turn it to yourself, is this what you are expressing... :-) something to think about...
This topic will be discussed more in detail in my radio show tomorrow, Wednesday 8 Feb from 10 am CAT, looping all day...listen by going to www.otherworldstomorrow.com